Okay,
traditionally they're referred to as the Four Limitless Qualities, or
Prayers [T.N.:
See also "brahmavihara"
or the "four
immeasurables"].
Society
says we're not good enough, rich enough, thin enough. But what if we
reversed the usual New Year's Resolution trap, and did something that
worked?
Most
New Year's resolutions are predicated on not being happy enough, or
not having what we want, or needing to be prettier, or thinner, or
more organized. But what if we began with accepting ourselves with
"maitri", or loving-kindness, and extended that genuine
happiness outward?
The
Buddha offered four limitless qualities worth cultivating. The first
contemplation:
May all sentient beings
enjoy happiness and the root of happiness
Recite these to yourself,
each for a few minutes. Then discuss with a friend or friends or
colleagues, if you've done this contemplation in a group setting.
First, recite "May I
enjoy happiness and the root of happiness. ..."
Then, recite "May my
loved one [name, could be your mom or dad] enjoy happiness and the
root of happiness. ..."
Then, recite " May my
best friends [can be many names] enjoy happiness and the root of
happiness. ..."
Then, recite "May
[those you feel indifferent toward] enjoy happiness and the root of
happiness. ..."
Then, recite "May my
'enemy' [name] enjoy happiness and the root of happiness. ..."
Then, recite "May all
sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness. ..."
That
all sounds nice, right? But just you wait: this is hard stuff.
Reciting these four contemplations is like exercising a new muscle,
usually - wishing ourselves happiness? Some of us have a hard time
with that. We don't deserve it, we aren't worthy, we shouldn't go
first, we should hide our light under a bushel. That one's easy for
me: it helps me refine and define what I mean by happiness and the
root of happiness.
For
happiness is something, in the West at least, that's sold to us,
pushed on us, hyped at us ... and it rarely results in happiness. We
can't make
ourselves happy via external products, weight loss, love. Happiness
is more fundamental that that. Chogyam Trungpa, the Buddhist
meditation master, urged us not to wish one another Happy Birthday,
but rather Cheerful Birthday - for happiness is a conditional state
of mind, as opposed to the fundamental state of being that
contentment or cheerfulness or being at ease implies. And conditional
states of mind - happy, sad, good, bad, in love, broken-hearted - are
suffering, the cyclical state of pushing away and clinging to that is
called "samsara".
So,
we don't wish conditional happiness on ourselves or others. We wish
fundamental happiness, the roots of happiness.
And
we wish it not only to ourselves, our loved ones, our best friends
... but to those we take for granted, or feel indifferent or neutral
toward. The baristas or waiters or mailwomen or those who we don't
know well, or feel strongly about.
And
we wish it to our "enemies" – to those who challenge us,
who upset us, who mistreat us. We wish them fundamental happiness,
and as the saying goes, only love can make our enemies into friends.
And even if that's not our goal – some challenging people don't
belong in our lives – we can change our own attitude from confusion
to kindness.
And
we wish it, finally, to all sentient beings – tigers, blades of
grass, mice, dogs, cats, birds, all humans everywhere – those who
make those products that capitalism is hyping at us ... everyone.
And
in so doing, this prayer doesn't change anything – except
ourselves. And in changing ourselves, en masse, we change our
society, and world.
Thoughts on all four limitless qualities
And
now, for the words of wisdom of Pema Chodron, on all four limitless
qualities, from her "The
Places That Scare You"
(www.shambhala.com,
Source).
It's
up to us.
We
can spend our lives cultivating our resentments and cravings, or we
can explore the path of the warrior - nurturing open-mindedness and
courage. Most of us keep strengthening our negative habits and
therefore sow the seeds of our own suffering. The bodhichitta
practices, however, are ways for us to sow the seeds of well being.
Particularly powerful are the aspiration practices of the four
limitless qualities - loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and
equanimity.
In
these practices we start close to home: we express the wish that we
and our loved ones enjoy happiness and be free of suffering. Then we
gradually extend that aspiration to a widening circle of
relationships. We start just where we are, where the aspirations feel
genuine. We begin by acknowledging where we already feel love,
compassion, joy, and equanimity. We locate our current experience of
these four boundless qualities, however limited they may be: in our
love of music, in our empathy with children, in the joy we feel on
hearing good news, or in the equanimity we experience when we are
with good friends. Even though we may think that what we already
experience is too meager, nevertheless we start with that and nurture
it. It doesn't have to be grand.
Cultivating
these four qualities gives us insight into our current experience. It
gives us understanding of the state of our mind and heart right now.
We get to know the experience of love and compassion, of joy and
equanimity, and also of their opposites. We learn how it feels when
one of the four qualities is stuck and how it feels when it is
flowing freely. We never pretend that we feel anything we don't. The
practice depends on embracing our whole experience. By becoming
intimate with how we close down and how we open up, we awaken our
unlimited potential.
Even
though we start this practice with the aspiration for ourselves or
our loved ones to be free of suffering, it may feel as if we're just
mouthing words. Even this compassionate wish for those nearest to us
may feel phony. But as long as we're not deceiving ourselves, this
pretending has the power to uncover bodhichitta [T.N.:
"Enlightenment-mind",
see also here].
Even though we know exactly what we feel, we make the aspirations in
order to move beyond what now seems possible. After we practice for
ourselves and those near us, we stretch even further: we send
goodwill toward the neutral people in our lives and also to the
people we don't like.
It
might feel like stretching into make-believe to say, "May this
person who is driving me crazy enjoy happiness and be free of
suffering." Probably what we genuinely feel is anger. This
practice is like a workout that stretches the heart beyond its
current capabilities. We can expect to encounter resistance. We
discover that we have our limits: we can stay open to some people,
but we remain closed to others. We see both our clarity and our
confusion. We are learning firsthand what everyone who has ever set
out on this path has learned: we are all a paradoxical bundle of rich
potential that consists of both neurosis and wisdom.
Aspiration
practice is different from making affirmations. Affirmations are like
telling yourself that you are compassionate and brave in order to
hide the fact that secretly you feel like a loser. In practicing the
four limitless qualities, we aren't trying to convince ourselves of
anything, nor are we trying to hide our true feelings. We are
expressing our willingness to open our hearts and move closer to our
fears. Aspiration practice helps us to do this in increasingly
difficult relationships.
If
we acknowledge the love, compassion, joy, and equanimity that we feel
now and nurture it through these practices, the expansion of those
qualities will happen by itself. Awakening the four qualities
provides the necessary warmth for an unlimited strength to emerge.
They have the power to loosen up useless habits and to melt the
ice-hardness of our fixations and defenses. We are not forcing
ourselves to be good.
When
we see how cold or aggressive we can be, we aren't asking ourselves
to repent. Rather, these aspiration practices develop our ability to
remain steadfast with our experience, whatever it may be. In this way
we come to know the difference between a closed and an open mind,
gradually developing the self-awareness and kindness we need to
benefit others. These practices unblock our love and compassion, joy
and equanimity, tapping into their boundless potential to expand ...
[To
read this article in German, please go to: | Um diesen Artikel auf Deutsch zu lesen, besuchen Sie bitte: "Buddhas Vier Vorsätze für das Neue Jahr"]
By
Waylon Lewis*
(Source|Quelle:
elephantjournal.com
Transl.|Übers.: Nicolas von
Kospoth)
____
*
Waylon Lewis is
an American Buddhist, the
founder of "elephant magazine", now elephantjournal.com,
and
host of "Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis".
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